I feel so stuck.
I've stayed away from alcohol, but have been eating crap. My weight has been maintaining, pretty much. I feel like such a quitter, but I just can't get it together. I wish I knew how to juggle all the things going on in my life and still, at least feel like, I'm taking care of myself.
I'm not even going to pretend I have time to keep up with this blog and with all you nice gals in the blog world.
I'm taking a break from the computer, probably for the rest of the summer.
My best to you all.
Meg
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
bye
I've been having one tough week. Things seem so chaotic, frustrating and stressful. I've been living on cereal, fruit pops and cafeteria pasta. No workouts, no walks, no yoga. Throw in some pie and chocolate. I've even had 2 martinis and 2 glasses of chard. All to that adds up to a big huge headache and the scale being kicked under the chair.
I'm not weighing in this week. I'm calling it a bye.
I'm not weighing in this week. I'm calling it a bye.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Freedom Challenge Week 2
Last week I had ice cream 3 times. Other than that I was free of animal products and alcohol. I feel good and am so grateful for my freedom.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Friday weigh in
I get this feeling every few months. I want to change, run away to a new country, convert to a religion, learn a new language, become new from the inside out. I need a personal revolution. But of course, there are many connections and responsibilities that I'm not willing to leave behind, and of course the time and financial restrictions that come with them.
This is part of my weight loss motivation. Firstly, I want and need to be as healthy as possible, within a healthy weight range and decrease my chances of developing heart disease as I age. Secondly, this is about wanting to return to my original self. Somehow, when I look at recent photos of myself, I don't recognize that person as me. The big puffy lady with short hair.
As I've paged through old photo albums this summer, I've recognized myself in childhood riding my horse with my hair wild, as a lanky teen with large dark eyes, creamy skin, in my 20's dancing and laughing, in my 30's getting married and having 2 big baby boys. Shortly after the birth of my second child, the are only a handful of pictures of me. In the last 6 years I have let my fire go out. I am unrecognizable to myself.
I accept (and feel grateful for, considering the alternative) that I am aging. I hope that I'm maturing emotionally. I feel very grateful for how life has unfolded for me so far.
Returning to a healthy weight is just going to be a happy by-product of being true to my nature. I love animals, so it makes sense to not eat them. I've got that down pretty well. I think I'm really sensitive to drugs. One cup of coffee makes me nervous and 1 glass of wine wrecks my sleep. Now that I have that figured out, skipping the wine has become much easier. I still need to switch to green tea. Eliminate sugar. Cut back on grain. Eliminate flour. Cut the fat WAY down. Eat more greens. Basically, find my copy of Eat To Live by Dr Fuhrman and just make the changes. I've tried and failed that diet before, but those times the switch was very drastic. I was still drinking wine, eating animal products and baked goods. Maybe I'll do better this time around.
The Mister tried and abandoned Medifast a few months ago. and gave me boxes of his unwanted packets. I like the taste of them and most of them are vegetarian, so I've been eating them up little by little. It has recently come the my attention that soy isolates( the protein in the packets) are not a good choice if one is looking to avoid a hormonally mediated malignancy. That's one of the categories I fall into so, I'm going to cut out the medifast as well.
The next piece of the puzzle is the biggest piece. I want to learn to eat only when I'm hungry. Ever since I was a teen, I can remember purposely and with full awareness, drowning out my emotions with food. I want to learn to just feel my feelings. Not act on them, not understand them, just have them while the are here. I have come a long way on this one, and I think that is a main reason my weight has come down recently.
medifast shake
plum
1 Boca burger patty
green beans
2 cups vegan minestrone
2 slices sourdough bread with Smart Balance, Vegenaisse, basil, lettuce, tomatoes
1 banana
1/2 cup pasta
1/8 cup homemade vegan pesto
1 cup little fried orka
1/2 cup steamed beets
1/2 cup cucumbers in vinaigrette
1 popcorn topped with herb mix and nootch
2 squares dark chocolate
2 liters water
Bike around the lake
This is part of my weight loss motivation. Firstly, I want and need to be as healthy as possible, within a healthy weight range and decrease my chances of developing heart disease as I age. Secondly, this is about wanting to return to my original self. Somehow, when I look at recent photos of myself, I don't recognize that person as me. The big puffy lady with short hair.
As I've paged through old photo albums this summer, I've recognized myself in childhood riding my horse with my hair wild, as a lanky teen with large dark eyes, creamy skin, in my 20's dancing and laughing, in my 30's getting married and having 2 big baby boys. Shortly after the birth of my second child, the are only a handful of pictures of me. In the last 6 years I have let my fire go out. I am unrecognizable to myself.
I accept (and feel grateful for, considering the alternative) that I am aging. I hope that I'm maturing emotionally. I feel very grateful for how life has unfolded for me so far.
Returning to a healthy weight is just going to be a happy by-product of being true to my nature. I love animals, so it makes sense to not eat them. I've got that down pretty well. I think I'm really sensitive to drugs. One cup of coffee makes me nervous and 1 glass of wine wrecks my sleep. Now that I have that figured out, skipping the wine has become much easier. I still need to switch to green tea. Eliminate sugar. Cut back on grain. Eliminate flour. Cut the fat WAY down. Eat more greens. Basically, find my copy of Eat To Live by Dr Fuhrman and just make the changes. I've tried and failed that diet before, but those times the switch was very drastic. I was still drinking wine, eating animal products and baked goods. Maybe I'll do better this time around.
The Mister tried and abandoned Medifast a few months ago. and gave me boxes of his unwanted packets. I like the taste of them and most of them are vegetarian, so I've been eating them up little by little. It has recently come the my attention that soy isolates( the protein in the packets) are not a good choice if one is looking to avoid a hormonally mediated malignancy. That's one of the categories I fall into so, I'm going to cut out the medifast as well.
The next piece of the puzzle is the biggest piece. I want to learn to eat only when I'm hungry. Ever since I was a teen, I can remember purposely and with full awareness, drowning out my emotions with food. I want to learn to just feel my feelings. Not act on them, not understand them, just have them while the are here. I have come a long way on this one, and I think that is a main reason my weight has come down recently.
medifast shake
plum
1 Boca burger patty
green beans
2 cups vegan minestrone
2 slices sourdough bread with Smart Balance, Vegenaisse, basil, lettuce, tomatoes
1 banana
1/2 cup pasta
1/8 cup homemade vegan pesto
1 cup little fried orka
1/2 cup steamed beets
1/2 cup cucumbers in vinaigrette
1 popcorn topped with herb mix and nootch
2 squares dark chocolate
2 liters water
Bike around the lake
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
week 1 of Freedom Challenge
I'm happy too report that I have successfully completed week 1 of the Freedom Challenge. I really haven't missed my evening glass(es) of wine and of course, I feel wonderful about not having any animal products!
Go Freedom Challengers!!!
1 cup oatmeal
1 banana
2t honey
2 cups coffee
1/2 cup soymilk
2 stuffed grape leaves
1/2 pita with 2T hummus
1 cup life cereal with craisins and soymilk
pbj
1 cup soy milk
1 cup steamed beets
1/2 cup millet
small pat Smart Balance
juice and pulp of 2 oranges
water - 2 liters
Exercise - took kids to the zoo, gardens and amusement park
Go Freedom Challengers!!!
1 cup oatmeal
1 banana
2t honey
2 cups coffee
1/2 cup soymilk
2 stuffed grape leaves
1/2 pita with 2T hummus
1 cup life cereal with craisins and soymilk
pbj
1 cup soy milk
1 cup steamed beets
1/2 cup millet
small pat Smart Balance
juice and pulp of 2 oranges
water - 2 liters
Exercise - took kids to the zoo, gardens and amusement park
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